Kat Kit Moon Landing & Flight Space

*If all the women [and men] who've been sexually assaulted, harassed or abused posted, "Me, too," we'd get a sense of the problem's magnitude: ME, TOO.

It's been a long, intense, immense journey to realize its wreckage on my life: deeply feeling sad, afraid, distrust, anger, threatened, unsafe, isolated, depressed, and anxious—even though mostly it wasn't where my partners or others were coming from. It's been liberating to work through this.

These wounds surfaced in relationships in different ways, given my long delay in tending to it. Bring light to it. (Un)wrap my head and heart around the darkness. As a result, I unwittingly brought this hurt to my relationships.

We come to understand why others act out and disappear. Ironic, how we forget less-than-great ways we dealt with things; how we have isolated ourselves for a sense of safety and peace, while others have yearned for our being and beauty when all we could feel is like we are broken.

There were many traumas perpetrated against people I loved. I decided not to—or felt I couldn't—allow myself to feel everything, to keep my tender heart alive. It was my survival strategy for 39 years of my life.

When my dad died, the damn broke. I felt alive again and it felt so good to feel my heart again. Yes, it hurts at times to put my heart out there. But it's worth being able to feel the joy, vulnerability, and connection with others.

Real men, women, people—meaning people who are real about their lives and struggles—deal with their crap, esp. when they're fortuitous enough to find love in others; or the knowledge, resources, or wisdom to deal with it.

My healing has been possible thanks to great women. My mom who took me in her arms and told me, "It's not your fault." I am grateful for the mind hell that spared me. Women who've shown me what love looks like and seen my heart amidst of all of it. Friends, teachers, peers, leaders, comfortable—or uncomfortable—in their masculinity who embrace all sides of their being, even if a trait or a like is thought to be feminine.

We're not alone in surviving, enduring, overcoming and thriving—not in spite of this—but because of how we choose to deal with it; and keep alive our ability to see, feel, seek, find, embrace, and share goodness, joy, and love.

Isaak Perlman wrote, "Sometimes our task is to make music with what remains." We may struggle to believe but we still hope, dare to love, make songs and keep the fire alive. We were only injured not broken or damaged.

What I've learned is that the more my heart is broken, the more tender I become (as long as I don't close, harden or let my heart grow cold). The harder it seems to love, the greater opportunity for awareness, compassion, kindness, understanding and forgiveness, and even more love.

Though I struggled to let others love me, fearing hurt and abandonment, I responded with love for myself and others, engendering, or tapping into, a healing energy that sustained me, brought love to my world.

I was drawn to people who served others well; inspired me; never tired or got weighted down. I noted their wicked sense of humor. That sometimes the only way to keep things precious is not treat them as so precious.

I also connected with people who were happier and had a wonderful peace and equanimity about them. I felt like I could learn something from them. How they got there, got through things, and found a way to goodness.

The more we work to be in it, stay in it, feel it all—the good and the bad, the pain and the joy—the more love there is, the stronger the love, and the greater our sense of connection to the world around us.

How sweet it is to be loved by you, your own very self. That's where it all begins but we often begin and further our journey in friendship and love; activism and community work; being and hanging in there with others; and most importantly, working through stuff with loving compassion and kindness for what comes up and all that we yearn to be a part of your best life.